When Hugo Morel was seven he started school in the Dominican Republic, He went in the first day, sat at a desk, and started to write, as usual, with his left hand. The teacher grabbed his pencil and threw it out the window, saying that children were only allowed to write with their right hand.

So Morel walked out of the school and went home. His father immediately returned with him to school. His father talked to the principal, the principal talked to the teacher, and 20 minutes after he had left, Hugo was back at his desk, writing with his left hand.

That was one of dozens of personal stories of parents taking a stand for children, shared during an unusual conference called Parents Leading the Way Toward Stronger Communities for Children. The conference, held October 17 and 18 in Oakland, brought together more than 170 parent leaders and staff members working to build parent leadership in schools, communities, and organizations working with and for children and families. Morel's organization, Parent Services Project of San Rafael, was one of nine organizations and 15 individuals who spent a year collaboratively planning the conference.

"In traditional conferences there are experts and we sit there listening, making us passive," said Ericka Erickson of the Marin Grassroots Leadership Network. Instead, this conference created space where participants could teach each other by sharing stories, values, and knowledge-modeling the way organizations can enable parents to become leaders.

"We're conditioned not to hear some voices," said Lisa Lee, also of Parent Services Project, who facilitated at the conference. "But these are the voices that need to be heard for change to happen. This is about finding your voice. Your voice and your language are welcome here." Sessions were held primarily in English, with simultaneous translation for Spanish-speakers.

Growing movement

Developing parent leadership has increasingly become a major goal of many organizations working with and for children and families, in both statewide networks like the Mexican American Legal Defense and Education Fund (MALDEF) and the Pacific Institute for Community Organization (PICO) and in many local and regional groups. More organizations have realized that parents are the most authentic and effective voice for children. "It all begins with the parents," said Curtis Ward of One by One Leadership in Fresno, during the conference. "Everything we have comes from the home-parents are the ones with the power to make change."

Parent leadership has seemed especially important in the last two years, as education and social services have been cut and California and the nation have been struggling over direction and priorities. Many advocates for children have come to see the leadership of parents as essential to building a social movement strong enough to make children our first priority.

Many issues

"It was great to hear from everybody all their different stories and realize we are all here for one reason-our children. They need us to fight for them," said Rosario Ramirez, a participant in the Central American Resource Center (CARACEN) in San Francisco.

Participants connected, no matter where they came from or what issue they're working on, because they share a commitment to building healthy communities for children.

"Every day I come across kids who are in third grade and don't know how to read."

"I want parents, especially newcomers, to feel comfortable and welcome in schools."

"My issues are quality child care and health care for all."

"I want to see children of color involved in community activities-and to bridge the gap between cultures."

Parents and organizers talked about these and many other issues during the two-day event.

Sharing stories

By sharing stories, parents and organizers discovered how powerful we are when we speak from our own experiences. They saw the power of telling and listening to stories to build trust, discover common experiences and values, and develop relationships. People told stories of how it felt to grow up in a multicultural family, to migrate from one country to another, to grow up without a father, to be placed in the "slow" class because your family was poor.

Mrs. Mae Monroe, now in her nineties, described being one of the first African American leaders of the PTA: "If I saw something I didn't like in the schools, I spoke up." Willow Lancaster described participating in Parent Voices' successful lobbying against child care cuts: "If we do get together and fight, it works!"

Honoring cultures

Singer/storyteller Francisco Herrera spoke about the strength we each draw from our own roots and the strong bonds we develop when we share our cultures-his songs came from Mexican American, African American and Irish traditions. Woven through the two days were many reflections of our cultures and the ways they shape our experience, including performances by an African American storyteller, Aztec dancers, and children drumming African rhythms.

Building relationships

Many parents and organizers emphasized that building relationships is the key to organizing. And they described what it takes: Discovering common experiences and values. Working through difficult relationships. Really listening. Making eye contact. Building trust.

Sharing what works

Through role-playing, group problem-solving, small-group discussion, and lots of story-telling parents and organizers exchang-ed ideas and strategies. Parent Advo-cates for Youth, a project of Coleman Advocates for Children and Youth in San Francisco, drew lessons from their successful campaign to create a parent advisory committee for the Board of Education. Oakland Community Organ-ization (OCO) described their methods for persuading the Oakland Unified School District to create a network of small autonomous schools.

"The most valuable thing was to see how you guys (OCO) work together. I can already see the different races coming together, already I can see the impact," said Socorro Gaeta of One By One Leadership.

"I learned about setting realistic goals and not taking it personally when people don't show up at a meeting," said Lakisha Neal of Parent Voices.

"I learned little ways to build trust between strangers," said Latrell McDonald of OCO.

Parents Leading the Way Tool Kit

Parents Leading the Way Tool Kit with step-by-step instructions for re-creating many of the activities experienced at the conference, is available in English or Spanish for $3. Call 510-444-7136 to order.

Representatives of Action Alliance for Chil-dren, Coleman Advocates for Children and Youth, Northern California Citizenship Project, Parent Services Project, Parent Voices, Red-wood City Family Centers, the San Francisco Unified School District, the San Francisco Chil-dren and Families Commission, and San Rafael Ministry met together for a year to plan the Parents Leading the Way/Padres Haciendo Caminos conference. The process was led by Melia Franklin, outreach manager of Action Alliance for Children and supported by the Zellerbach Family Foundation. These and other organizations are meeting in November to discuss future directions for the collaboration.